"I'm not a self-help book, I'm just a pop punk kid." Fajar Fauzi. 19. Indonesia.

 

bryanstars:

MEET & GREET! Submit your meet-and-greet stories to bryanstarsfanpictures@gmail.com. They are posted throughout the week.

So I’ve struggled with self harm for 6 years now and I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety 3 years ago. I’ve attempted suicide before and have visited countless therapists/doctors all whom have which stuffed me with drugs that never seem to work. One thing I’ve always turned to is music. One of my favorite bands is The Color Morale and I finally had the opportunity to see them this year at warped. Me and my friend had barricade for tcm’s set and it was fucking amazing. After their set we went over to their merch tent to meet Garret Rapp, the vocalist for The Color Morale. He’s been my hero for a long time so I was really excited. I had a letter for him and everything. When I finally got to garret, I was so nervous so I just held out my letter for him. He looked down and he saw my scarred arm, along with fresh cuts. He frowned, grabbed my letter and set it on the table beside him before pulling me into his arms and saying this- “I see those and they’re open. I want you to know that you’re a beautiful girl and by doing that you’re giving the world what it wants- the world wants you to think you’re ugly and dumb and you have to prove them wrong. What a waste of creative energy yanno? Don’t do this bullshit. I know how hard it is. I struggled as an adolescent and I wish someone would have had the conversation with me that I’m having with you now. I came here to Massachusetts with my band to have this conversation with you…You need to stop, not for me but for yourself. If you don’t stop I’ll be a fucking failure because my band didn’t help you enough. I don’t wanna be a fucking failure. It breaks my heart to see someone like you hurting themselves. You’re beautiful. Please stop. Promise you’ll stop.” At this point I was sobbing and I managed to tell him I promise and he stepped back and asked me what my name is. I told him Maddie and he said “Please stop, Maddie. Please. I dont want to see anymore of those on you. Remember this day and what I said to you. Were coming out with a new song, it’s called Suicide Stigma. Read the lyrics. It’s for you.” I then told him his band saved my life and he said “You saved this bands life. we love you.”

jensen-ackles-fish-lips:

For National Suicide Prevention Day heres the man that helped me with those constant thoughts in my head. Id be so lost without garret honestly

jensen-ackles-fish-lips:

For National Suicide Prevention Day heres the man that helped me with those constant thoughts in my head. Id be so lost without garret honestly

ineffable
[in-ef-uh-buhl]

(adjective) In the list of one of the most 100 beautiful words in the English language, ineffable’s beauty lies in its flowing sound and meaning. Ineffable describes the sentiment of being unable to express something in words because it is too extreme to communicate; words cannot possibly do justice at this particular moment.  (via wordsnquotes)

my-songs:

On June 26th, 2012, this man told me that I am the reason he plays music.
You’re probably sick of the band cliche, but We Came As Romans saved my life. I was on my bedroom floor on June 13th, 2010, with a knife in my hand and my stereo loud. I was ready to end my life when I heard my radio tell me “I believe in me, I believe in you, and I believe that we are not meaningless.” I put the knife down and cried. They stopped me.
For years I had been struggling with self-harm, since the death of my best friend when I was 11 years old. The third time I saw WCAR, at the Zumiez Couch Tour, I decided to bring them a letter I wrote about how they saved me.
The merch guy asked me what I wanted and I said to talk to someone in the band. “I have something to give them.” He ran to find me a band member while my boyfriend and I anxiously waited. He came back with Andy in tow. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked us with a smile on his face.
"I’m here to see you guys play and I wanted to give you this, too." I handed my letter to him with a shaky hand and the dumbest smile. "There’s no rush, but all of you need to read it."
"I’ll make sure this gets around to everyone." He smiled, and as I began to walk away, I tured my head to look back at him beginning to open the letter. I squealed at my boyfriend and he hugged me tight.
Later, as they were performing their song Broken Statues, I stood in the front row and screamed along. Andy found me in the front of the crowd and without a mic, pointing at me, looking into my eyes, he sang to me, “Show me your hands, let me wash them clean. Show me your heart and let me heal you.” I began to cry, smiling bigger than ever as he smiled back.
After the show, I went back to the merch table with a flood of other fans. When I finally reached it, Andy and Lou stood there. “I am so glad you wrote this letter. I’m glad you’re here today, not even, like, at this show, but like here, you know?”
"I’m glad I am, too," I laughed.
"You’re the reason we do what we do. Your story, people like you, you’re the reason I play music. If I wasn’t making a difference and an impact like I have on you to many other people, it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t think I’d be accomplishing anything."
"I love you, so much. All of you. Thank you for reading my letter and thank you for singing to me and just… Thank you for saving me and being a part of my life. I love you all."
"We love you too," Lou said. "I didn’t get the chance to read it yet, but I got the gist of it from Andy earlier. I’m glad we could be there for you and, you know, he’s right. This would be nothing if it wasn’t for stories like yours. You really are why we do this."
You all mean something to someone. Your story, your life, your entire existence can mean the world to someone. You can share your story and someone, like these guys, will believe in you. Someone out there loves you more than life itself, and I promise that it gets better. No matter what, stay alive. You can make it through anything. I’m here for you if you need me, I always will be. My ask box is open, you an ask me for my email address if the ask text limit is too short, I am always here for you. Believe it or not, someone can save our life and you are ALWAYS someone’s reason for something good.
I love you.

my-songs:

On June 26th, 2012, this man told me that I am the reason he plays music.


You’re probably sick of the band cliche, but We Came As Romans saved my life. I was on my bedroom floor on June 13th, 2010, with a knife in my hand and my stereo loud. I was ready to end my life when I heard my radio tell me “I believe in me, I believe in you, and I believe that we are not meaningless.” I put the knife down and cried. They stopped me.

For years I had been struggling with self-harm, since the death of my best friend when I was 11 years old. The third time I saw WCAR, at the Zumiez Couch Tour, I decided to bring them a letter I wrote about how they saved me.

The merch guy asked me what I wanted and I said to talk to someone in the band. “I have something to give them.” He ran to find me a band member while my boyfriend and I anxiously waited. He came back with Andy in tow. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked us with a smile on his face.

"I’m here to see you guys play and I wanted to give you this, too." I handed my letter to him with a shaky hand and the dumbest smile. "There’s no rush, but all of you need to read it."

"I’ll make sure this gets around to everyone." He smiled, and as I began to walk away, I tured my head to look back at him beginning to open the letter. I squealed at my boyfriend and he hugged me tight.

Later, as they were performing their song Broken Statues, I stood in the front row and screamed along. Andy found me in the front of the crowd and without a mic, pointing at me, looking into my eyes, he sang to me, “Show me your hands, let me wash them clean. Show me your heart and let me heal you.” I began to cry, smiling bigger than ever as he smiled back.

After the show, I went back to the merch table with a flood of other fans. When I finally reached it, Andy and Lou stood there. “I am so glad you wrote this letter. I’m glad you’re here today, not even, like, at this show, but like here, you know?”

"I’m glad I am, too," I laughed.

"You’re the reason we do what we do. Your story, people like you, you’re the reason I play music. If I wasn’t making a difference and an impact like I have on you to many other people, it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t think I’d be accomplishing anything."

"I love you, so much. All of you. Thank you for reading my letter and thank you for singing to me and just… Thank you for saving me and being a part of my life. I love you all."

"We love you too," Lou said. "I didn’t get the chance to read it yet, but I got the gist of it from Andy earlier. I’m glad we could be there for you and, you know, he’s right. This would be nothing if it wasn’t for stories like yours. You really are why we do this."

You all mean something to someone. Your story, your life, your entire existence can mean the world to someone. You can share your story and someone, like these guys, will believe in you. Someone out there loves you more than life itself, and I promise that it gets better. No matter what, stay alive. You can make it through anything. I’m here for you if you need me, I always will be. My ask box is open, you an ask me for my email address if the ask text limit is too short, I am always here for you. Believe it or not, someone can save our life and you are ALWAYS someone’s reason for something good.

I love you.